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April 27th, 2005

05:31 pm: a day late
ok i know its been a day and a half and yes i did get my license. i've just been driving because I CAN! this isn't gonna be too long because britt is on her way here so we can go to wal-mart. i gotta get the "smell goods" for the whip.

Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: cuban link ft. mya- sugar daddy

April 26th, 2005

12:14 am: the first attempt
technically today when my father gets home i, B-Olden of sound mind and body will attempt to get my drivers license. i'm really scared that i'll fail and have to walk out of the dmv crying because i'm still a loser. everyone pray for me...that sounds homo ass hell coming from me but i'm so forserious (and yes i did mean for that to be one word). so i'm gonna go to bed now....WISH ME LUCK!-because i know you bastards are sick of picking me up everytime we go somewhere.


Current Mood: scaredscared
Current Music: david gray-this years love

April 22nd, 2005

08:41 pm: new things
i bought a fucking car today, bitches!!! 94 black ford probe, nigga!!! what's really good! and i'mma keep doing big things in the '05! staying on the grind all day everyday! LOL!

Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: nelly-errtime

March 2nd, 2005

12:11 am: FINALLY!
thank god! its only 2 days until my birthday-well, seeing as how it's now 12:12 its only 1 day away. but yeah, 1 day until my birthday....2 days until richmond with ash and adrienne and the rest of the byrd gang up there....and the greatest of all-3 days until maryland!!! i hope i get to see sebastian. jr and opie have been acting like dicks in the ass lately. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with them.

HOT DAMN! THE BRADY BUNCH IS FINALLY ON DVD WITH A "BUNCH" OF BONUS FEATURES!!!! i just thought of this but, why were there never any negros on the brady bunch?

and since i haven't typed anything in like weeks i think i'll just update you readers on what i've learned withing the past month.....

1. antarctica (sp) is a body of land (this whole time i just thought it was a bunch of water and just never classified as an ocean because it was really big)
2. i didn't know what ocean we lived by-still don't!
3. didn't know if pennsylvania was a city or a state-still don't
4. ash told me we had 7 continents- i still don't remember them, but thats how i found out antarctica was land!
5. i don't know the difference between fact and fiction
6. england was an island- but i actually found that out a few months ago

i really don't know why my parents think i'm so smart because honestly...i'm stupid as hell!

but i'm starting to get tired. i have tomorrow off so i'm def. sleeping in. i better get some phone call or comment or text on my birthday from you readers!!!!!! if not i will truly be upset! and then i will know who my true friends are!

-i'm out this bitch

Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: 112- sweet love (preparing myself mentally for maryland!!)

February 9th, 2005

10:14 pm: i can't wait to leave this place! i honestly mean that shit. if i leave on bad terms i really don't give a god damn! i will fucking be homeless before i come back home. i want all of you to remind me that if i ever decide to come back to this bitch!!!!

Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: frayser boy- bay area
12:09 am: i was on myspace.com today and i talked to one of sebastians friends. i think that goes into the category of "Loser" or maybe even "Herb" or "Desperate"! i'm going for desperate. i really don't think that when you call a guy a hoe that he should spaz the fuck out like that. but anyways...his friend was actually pretty nice. he put an add on his page to tell him to talk to me. the funny thing was that he told him to stop being a "pussy" and just talk to me. i just can't help it, he's so fucking pretty!!! i just want to......(*ashleigh thinking*)!!!lol. but i just hope he listens to his friend and actually talks to me. i would appreciate it greatly. :(

so now i'm sitting here bored as hell. there is no one to talk to. it seems like everyone is online but they're busy. i could really use some trees right now, damn this sucks.

i really want to see jr right now. lol i know that this is random as hell. jr makes me angry but its a funny angry. i mean yeah i do feel like skinning him sometimes but it's all in good fun, right?

roblet is out tonight. hopefully he's having fun. after today he deserves it.

i think i might go change my myspace page. this is how bored i am. its really sad!!! REALLY SAD!

Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: brooke valentine- girl fight

February 2nd, 2005

11:24 am: i have to go send off my lease deposit today. so that means i have to first cash my check and then go to the 7-11 and get two seperate money orders. it would be so much simpler if i was driving myself. i have to get my bastard father to take me to do it all! whoopy!!! i can't wait till i'm leaving. august 15th please hurry, please! i just want to get away from hampton and josh and everything here that upsets me.

yeah but i'm going to be broke for another two weeks. my check is for 268 and i need to send off 250 for the deposit. so it looks like i'll be surviving off of one pack of cigs and buying lydia some food and litter. and for another year in a row, i'll be at home depressed on v-day! hopefully tv won't go v-day crazy and play nothing but sappy love movies, i hate that shit. but i will get my hair done...or should i wait until closer to my birthday? i have no clue.

-i'm out this bitch

Current Mood: rushedrushed
Current Music: 50 cent- high all the time

January 31st, 2005

11:52 am: my lease came the other day! i was quite excited. i would have been happier had my mom not tried to lie to me about the lease being sent to her job. i read over it yesterday while i was eating my ice cream. i had to stop reading after the third page because they were using words like "thereof, hereto" and all that other shit. i was getting too confused, once i started asking my dad what certain sections meant i knew it was time to give up.

but right now i'm really confused about something. i can't talk about it and thats what sucks. i hate it when something like this happens and it happens to me alot. sometimes i just wish knew what guys were thinking!!! GOD THIS SUCKS!

but yeah i'm bout to go smoke a cig.

-i'm out this bitch

ps- i really think that micheal jackson molested little boys, i don't know "i'm not a talker".

Current Mood: crankycranky
Current Music: lil wayne- get something

January 27th, 2005

10:58 pm: oh shit!
that white nigga from the alchemists could seriously get it!

Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: same!
10:17 pm: confused!
i have no clue what i want to do. i hate everything, i'm lonely, i have a shitty job, i have no car, no license, no boyfriend, not even a f**k buddy, every sad song i hear makes me miss josh, i've been crying at the drop of a dime for the past month and a half, i'm not even totally sure if i'm gonna be able to get the apartment in the fall (everyone else is pulling the fuck shit stick and thinks that the apartment will be there until jesus rises again), i need a cigarette, i need dick in my life, i found sebastian but he doesn't want to talk to me..i don't blame him, my dad is behind me getting on my nerves (i wish he would hurry the fuck up and go to bed!), i wanna be in love with someone who loves me just as much as i love them, my headphones are all fucked up (don't ask), i'm fat!!!!!, i feel unloved by my friends, i don't even have guys to call anymore when i get sad and need to feel loved, no one hollas at me anymore (maybe it's because i'm fat), jr has a g/f (haha like i was really gonna have a chance...lol!)-this means he won't pay all his attention to me, i'm selfish, i need a relaxer, i need to get my nails done, britt is still stuck up ian's ass (i know your jaw just dropped when you read that), ash is 3 hours away and i can never hang with her anymore, david is about 13 hours away and i can't just call him when i want to, no one important calls my cell phone anymore, brandon and me aren't the same anymore, cock is stuck up leon's ass (she's probably not gonna read this unless someone tells her, but when she does she'll get mad until i call her and explain), i have no clothes to wear anymore, i'm broke, i want some weed (this is the reason i'm broke), i want to go to richmond with out stephen driving and worrying about getting back early to go make dinner with bubba (ha), i want a drink-like about 5 shots of vodka, fuck it let me just be fucked up right now!, i'm prolly gonna work the whole weekend-simply so i can have v-day weekend off if we actually do go to dc, i'm so fucking dependent on others, i need a FUCKING STRAY!!!!!, josh is ready to grow the fuck up yet, or he's moved the fuck on and left me lonely wondering if i finally have, i've lost the remote for my tv in my room, there is nothing on tv.............. I'M ON MY FUCKING PERIOD!

this is probably the reason why i typed that long ass run on sentence. if i offended anyone.....how do i put this....suck my dick! lol! when i get depressed like this i either need some pills, a stray, a drink, or dick! and seeing as how i have none of those...hup, deal with me being a bitch. so if you read this and you were offended don't come to me with some bullshit about apologizing because its not gonna happen. all the times i've apologized and sincerely meant it in my life have happened less than 10 times..sad, huh?! but shit yeah, i'm gonna continue to throw my pitty party and listen to "Yeah, yeah, yeah" by Lil Mo over and over again until i get sick of it.

Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: lil mo- yeah, yeah, yeah
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