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ashleigh

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10:17 pm: confused!
i have no clue what i want to do. i hate everything, i'm lonely, i have a shitty job, i have no car, no license, no boyfriend, not even a f**k buddy, every sad song i hear makes me miss josh, i've been crying at the drop of a dime for the past month and a half, i'm not even totally sure if i'm gonna be able to get the apartment in the fall (everyone else is pulling the fuck shit stick and thinks that the apartment will be there until jesus rises again), i need a cigarette, i need dick in my life, i found sebastian but he doesn't want to talk to me..i don't blame him, my dad is behind me getting on my nerves (i wish he would hurry the fuck up and go to bed!), i wanna be in love with someone who loves me just as much as i love them, my headphones are all fucked up (don't ask), i'm fat!!!!!, i feel unloved by my friends, i don't even have guys to call anymore when i get sad and need to feel loved, no one hollas at me anymore (maybe it's because i'm fat), jr has a g/f (haha like i was really gonna have a chance...lol!)-this means he won't pay all his attention to me, i'm selfish, i need a relaxer, i need to get my nails done, britt is still stuck up ian's ass (i know your jaw just dropped when you read that), ash is 3 hours away and i can never hang with her anymore, david is about 13 hours away and i can't just call him when i want to, no one important calls my cell phone anymore, brandon and me aren't the same anymore, cock is stuck up leon's ass (she's probably not gonna read this unless someone tells her, but when she does she'll get mad until i call her and explain), i have no clothes to wear anymore, i'm broke, i want some weed (this is the reason i'm broke), i want to go to richmond with out stephen driving and worrying about getting back early to go make dinner with bubba (ha), i want a drink-like about 5 shots of vodka, fuck it let me just be fucked up right now!, i'm prolly gonna work the whole weekend-simply so i can have v-day weekend off if we actually do go to dc, i'm so fucking dependent on others, i need a FUCKING STRAY!!!!!, josh is ready to grow the fuck up yet, or he's moved the fuck on and left me lonely wondering if i finally have, i've lost the remote for my tv in my room, there is nothing on tv.............. I'M ON MY FUCKING PERIOD!

this is probably the reason why i typed that long ass run on sentence. if i offended anyone.....how do i put this....suck my dick! lol! when i get depressed like this i either need some pills, a stray, a drink, or dick! and seeing as how i have none of those...hup, deal with me being a bitch. so if you read this and you were offended don't come to me with some bullshit about apologizing because its not gonna happen. all the times i've apologized and sincerely meant it in my life have happened less than 10 times..sad, huh?! but shit yeah, i'm gonna continue to throw my pitty party and listen to "Yeah, yeah, yeah" by Lil Mo over and over again until i get sick of it.

Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: lil mo- yeah, yeah, yeah

Comments

[User Picture]
From:johnyquest
Date:January 27th, 2005 08:31 pm (UTC)
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i enjoyed when you said "hup". it made me laugh.

but i definitely don't know what a stray is. i assume something weed related. sigh.
[User Picture]
From:innocentears
Date:January 28th, 2005 10:18 am (UTC)
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gosh casey, everyone knows that it's a cigarette. ahahaha :)
[User Picture]
From:krisleigh
Date:January 28th, 2005 05:27 pm (UTC)
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Casey! That post had a lot of venting a lot of emotion and your responce is I enjoyed when you said "hup"?!

*sigh.

Ash, I am so sorry that you are at a bad stage right now. And Sebastian is just being a dick if he doesn't want to talk to you over some STUPID crap from 2 years ago. Anyway, we'll do some birthday celebration when I come back home for Spring Break in the beginning of March. And until then watch I Love The 90s part deux. Mo and Michael Ian Black are always good for a laugh.
[User Picture]
From:innocentears
Date:January 28th, 2005 10:21 am (UTC)
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don't worry girl. things will look up. i know it's cliche, but i speak from experience. i know how you feel being depressed and what not. it sucks! but it gets better. i'm here if you ever need to talk or to vent. you can even yell at me if you want :)


<3linds
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